General jumbled ramblings …
I am outta here! I’m about to get on the plane and leave behind the madness of Brexit and the wash out of ‘summer’ in the UK, and head across the pond to the general madness of America.
I’m excited! I’m terrified! I’m weirdly calm and completely panicked at the same time.
And talking of madness – what a couple of months it’s been! I feel like I have had 101 things going around my head…
I’ve spent 8 weeks in an outdoor expedition company giving them a complete rebrand – it’s been a roller coaster ride but ultimately it has been a great experience, I’ve met some really great people and I’ve done some work I’m proud of — so a win win situation for me.
I’ve started a new project with Bex, a girl I met 10 years ago in Africa! Love Her Wild aims to raise the profile of women adventurers. We share inspirational stories of inspriational women doing insprational things. Gear reviews, how to’s and general musings. My favourite interview so far has been with Mel Southworth (to be published soon). I quoted her in my recent post, but since delving a bit deeper into her life, her motivation and experiences, I find her quite inspirational.
Through this project I’ve connected with some great people and I am super excited they have agreed to be involved with Love Her Wild. Some people who I’ve admired the adventures of – Dave Cornthwaite and Anna McNuff. I also met Levison Wood (British adventurer who walked the Nile and the Himalayas, partnered with Channel 4 to make documentaries) and, as expected, he was a thouroughly nice bloke. I told him of my plan to walk 10,000 miles over the next couple of years, I got a double eyebrow raise. Impressed! So, operation ‘marry Lev’ has kicked off – I don’t want to be too obvious about it so I’ve given it a subtle title. (Lev in case you read this, I’m just joking – HAHA who am I kidding?! Like Lev would ever read this drivel.)
Ah well. Nothing ventureed, nothing gained.
I’ve done some soul searching and I’ve partnered with the charity Just A Drop and I’m not aimlessly wondering around the world – I am walking a really long way so those people who have to walk a long way just to get water don’t have to. You can read my reasons for doing that, more about the charity and find out how to donate here.
And, while I’m on the subject of water, if I had drunk more of it I probably wouldn’t have found myself in my most ridiculous situation to date. I had a sobering reminder at how fragile life can be. I went out and drank too much (there are suspicions of something having been put in my drink, but it’s not something I can confirm or prove). One moment I was drinking wine and the next moment I remember is being in hospital, lying on a metal bench with a blanket on me, a used sick bowl next to me and someone asking me if I knew where I was or what day it was. I had no idea. I gave a stab at Saturday (no, it was about 4am on Wednesday morning). It turns out I managed to fall over in the Tube station, bashed my head and knocked myself out. I was looked after by the staff until an ambulance came and took me to hospital. I have no memory of any of it.
I learnt a few things from this.
* Our NHS is great.
* People generally are good and kind.
* Never drink with a girl from Ecuador.
* I don’t like alcohol.
While I’ve been doing all of that, I’ve packed up my life, rented my house, sold my car, had my wisdom teeth pulled out, planned 2 adventures, spent a load of money on new adventure gear that I probably didn’t really need, and bought my one way ticket out of here.
And I am so ready for it. I tend to pile the pressure on myself, and there have been times where I’ve been at home and I’ve just laid down and cried as I feel like everything is overwhelming me and weighing me down. The pressure to know if I’m making the right decision. The pressure of money and responsibility. The pressure of ensuring I’m making my parents proud. The pressure of the unknown.
Packing up and leaving somewhere is sometimes a difficult decision. I couldn’t have done any of it – physically, logistically or mentally – without the support of my parents who have been amazing. I couldn’t love them any more.
Leaving my friends is hard, there will be so much I am missing out on, lots of friends having babies this year, friends getting married, but I can’t live my life through them and they know that, that’s why they are my friends. Since I came back from America last year I have really found out who my real friends are, there are some people I have felt a bit let down by and some people who I haven’t even seen. People come and go. It’s one of those things in life. Relationships with people are so fragile. Sometimes they find their way back in and sometimes they don’t. And then there are all the new friends I have made – it’s incredible how you can find friendships in some unlikely places. Some of the people of kept in contact with most and whom I’ve had the most open discussions with have been people I only met once or twice.
Ultimately people are super kind and super supportive. I’ve been asked a lot about care packages so I have written a bit about that here, and I’ve also added something a little different to the site. A lot of people wanted to send me stuff last year but I left it kinda last minute to organise anything and it’s sometimes difficult to coordinate and really expensive to post stuff to America which made me feel bad. So I now have a ‘burger fund’ where you can donate, £5/10 or whatever you want, to buy me a decent meal (no, it doesn’t have to be a burger) when I get to town (and this is the only thing it will be used for). So if you think I’m looking a bit skinny or need a bit or a morale boost you can donate to the fund. (Link is in the menu)
Well, now I am officially homeless and unemployed and really happy about it! When will I be coming back? What will I be coming back to? I have absolutely no idea…